Like most of us in the US these days, my mind is simply swirling at just where we as a country. Here we are headed into Winter and the doom and gloom seems to be here more significant than usual–and this is through eight years of bush. I am trying my best to clear all of these thoughts out of my head and begin to once again address the book, so stay tuned. The next month will be filled with writings that I am hoping to supply–because lets face it, we all need to escape to another time in our lives… 🙂
The common question when seeing people that I haven’t seen in a bit is a mixture of questions of the past and the future– how was the wedding and how is it without your wife not being in the country?
At this point in my life, I feel like I am in limbo, no direction, no way home, just waiting, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the moment when my wife is allowed to enter the country so that we can then begin our lives together.
This time has not been easy, so difficult that at times you try not to think of it, whatever you have to do to get away from it, to get away from the reality of your life being on hold because of the government.
During this time, I have had the opportunity to work on myself the way that I have wanted to since coming back from China– losing the weight that I quickly put on from spending a year in China. I lost 50 pounds in China and gained 100 coming back. I made a promise to myself when I got married and could barely fit into a suit that enough was enough– I was going to take my life back and begin to make decisions that need to be made because I want to have a life and I want to be a role model for my children– someone that they can look up to in any case.
So I have spent the last three months going to the gym and trying to take care of myself, trying to develop myself into a routine, getting things straight, mentally and physically so that I could begin this new life with my wife, fresh and anew.
Today was a celebratory breaking point– I reached the first of my goals since undertaking this challenge and it was done with the help of the Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie and The Infinite Sadness, a complex double album of songs that supposedly chronicle the different stages of life, from sadness to joy to anger to enlightenment…
I have listened to this album hundreds of times, seen the band perform it live in their pajamas and it is one of the en grained soundtracks of my life. It is one of the strongest albums ever recorded and each time I listen to it, I think about all the times around it in life.
In some ways it seems like the perfect thing to listen to while hitting the elliptical machine for 60 minutes– and the first part of Mellon Collie lasts 56 minutes– so I am looking forward to hitting the next part of the album on the next goal– or maybe on the plane as I am going to see my wife for the first time in months…
But I am keeping my head up, looking forward to the future, one moment at a time…
After years of campaigning relentlessly for the candidates and their armies of people, the war was won handily by the democrats. I, like most of the people, am glad its over. I am also happy that it wasn’t close, that we didn’t have to wait all night to realize who the next leader would be– the message was clearer than it ever has been in my entire life– the words of the American spoken as close to unison as we have seen in quite some time– and that message was clear- Obama. The biggest thing that we can hope for in the this country is that we begin to once again begin the process of functioning like the America that I remember– a land with prosperity, a place where people wanted to come to attempt the American dream– a place of freedom. The last eight years have really turned people against each other because most people were seemingly unhappy about something– and it seemed like Tuesday night we gained our souls back again, the balance of power from eight years of misrepresented government washed away in the hopes of our new leader. Barrack Obama is legit– that is the best way to describe it– he is the perfect leader of our country and will open up so many options for all of us because he will not need to be guided through the rough world of politics– his biggest financial backer are the American people, people like you and I, people who donated our actual income to this man because the basic things that he thinks and says are exactly what we are saying and thinking. It just feels good to be an American again.