Sometimes change happens so quickly you it is difficult to have much reaction to it all. This week that transistion is certainly happenening to me. I am half way done with my first year of teaching and it seems unreal. The exams are going very well–the students are certainly surprising me with their views on literature and the class and I feel quite accomplished. Its a pretty amazing thing to see the change is people processing skills because of something that you have done for them. Before I began to teach these kids, they knew nothing of literature, they didnt know how to use the internet for anything but talking online and playing games and now, its different and you can see it in their writing and the way that they have prepared their exams. Most of the students have come into the class and have been really well prepared to take the exam.
This makes it more difficult to leave the campus.
Before, I think I was spacing myself from them, finding their faults in order to make it easier for me to just leave and go somewhere else. As the time comes nearer and nearer to come to a close, I begin to see that the reality is that I am going to miss this life.
The other side of the equation is that I am not sure what the next step is just yet. It is seeming more and more like it will be Korea to be the next opportunity, but I am still a little apprehensive about the teaching prospect again. There certainly are pluses and minuses to the teaching trade, I like the freedom of it. However, there is this nagging feeling within me to settle in and get a job doing something where I can establish tenure and benefits. Live the suburban life, just like most of you out there in la la land–but the reality is that it just doesn’t seem to be in the cards right now.

I still do not have a plane ticket home yet–mostly because there are lots of options open and available to me at this point and I want to select the right one. A big concern is money, so I am trying to make some of that before I return to the states, even if it is for just a couple of weeks–the problem is that I have not made much in China and it is going to begin to matter very soon as I go back to a country where you need money just to survive.
I have the chance to teach at a couple of summer camps in China and make a little bit of money for a couple of weeks here and there and there is an opportunity to teach in Tianjin in July as well, which is where Lili is. At the end of July, we will head to Chengdu before she goes back to Germany and we figure out the next stages of our lives. Should be interesting.
We will be living together for most of July–in mostly her own enviroment, so it will be a good test to see what we have. Although I am a little apprehensive because I know that my mood in particular is going to be one of stress unless some things develop in the business end.
Regardless, the days are flying by and I find myself looking back at the end of the day wondering what I have actually accomplished and I realize that time has once again defeated my goals.
So it goes…