On fatherhood

When Elliott was born, three and a half years ago, I was going to keep this blog up because if anything ever happens, I wanted him to be able to always have a place where he could go and read what his dad was thinking at any given time period. I think for the first couple of months, if we go back to it, there is some cool entries there, but like anything else, other life moments happen and soon you can’t remember the last time you found the time to organize the photos, let alone putting words or connections to that medium.
Here we are at number 2, Liam, who is now 6 months old, soon to be 7, and I haven’t much about our life together, mostly because the amount of time I have to do anything other than sleep, work and watch the kids is about less than an hour everyday. Priorities.
Our day fits into this kind of rhythm. Monday through Friday, we usually wake up at 7am. Liam is usually the first one to wake, crying and asking to be fed his breakfast. Elliott is next, asking from his big boy bed…
“May I come and sleep in your bed?”
Sounds adorable, right? Right– except this isn’t a question or a request. It’s a notification that he is awake and he IS coming to our bed– but NOT to sleep. Some days he will read, some days he will watch TV if we allow, rarely will he relax– he’s THREE!! We are trying to get more on a morning schedule, dicated by time, but the thing you learn with kids is that time is an adult concept. Elliott at 3.5 years old has zero concept of time– it can take up to an hour to get just him ready, it’s a power struggle that we are working to minimize.
Lili usually takes the kids to daycare and we both usually drive, even through the daycare is just a couple of blocks away. It again comes back around to the amount of time that we have and what we choose to apply it to. If we got up earlier, got the kids motivated sooner and closed some of the leisure time, we would have time to walk everyday like we said we were going to do when we bought the house– afterall, the reason we bought this house, in part, was its overall location to the daycare, to I-405, etc…. and now what do I find? I find myself with the same habits.
…and that’s what your try to do when you have kids– you try to still live the life you have carved out, yet try to accommodate these future examples of you as they try to figure the world out… and that is what is so crazy about all of it– I spent literally years and years in college learning about things, but my kids have taught me so many things in such a small amount of time– an education complicates everything as it teaches you the science of life, but then when you have kids, they take life back to it’s most simplistic terms. The cycle of life starts over and you have to journey with them as they piece all of it together– and that’s the thing that has REALLY caused me to pause– and I need to work harder on these moments where I am just blown away at how awesome these kids are and how fast they are growing up. I hope I get to spend a lot of time with them before they are grown up. Working as much as we do, you start to notice it….

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